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Posts Tagged ‘friendship’

value of a good friend

“A good friend is like a four leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have.”

–  Irish proverb

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 great expectations gift literature

Tea and a good read – timeless classics.

dickens book to film

David Lean’s “Great Expectations” said to be the most faithful and among the best adaptations of literature to film. ( Pic: moviemail.com )

 

How wonderful to get presents that reflect what you love.

One that I received recently was a bundle of Collector’s Library books, which included “Great Expectations” by Charles Dickens.

The book was part of the syllabus of my English Literature class in high school.

Of course, we had to learn and memorize the book for the coming examinations. But with Dickens’ genius writing and the guidance of a wonderful teacher, we grew to love the characters and the story. And at the same time, though we might not know it then, we were learning a little about life and love as a young teenager from the stories of Pip, Estella, Miss Havisham, and the other characters.

At that time, my best friend in class was K. When we heard that the British Council was screening a film based on the book, we were so excited and decided to make an outing of the event.

I remember going to K’s house on that day. I met her sisters – all very smart and strong-willed like her. I remember, after that, we ran to the bus stop, hoping to make it in time for the screening.

In the darkened theater, when the movie started, it was quite amazing to see the characters that had lived in our imagination for most of the year come alive on the screen.

K and I went to different colleges. We kept in touch for a while. Then she got married; we started our careers, and we lost touch through all the busyness of young adulthood.

But I believed that, for both of us, the year that we studied “Great Expectations” was an enjoyable time in our growing up years.

 

 

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clues to personality

Pic: (pixabay.com)

“When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.”

– Japanese proverb

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life's journeyThere was a time in my life when I was going through a transitional and painful period.

I could not have made it without the support of family and friends. But at the same time, I had to do the work to heal myself and move on with my life. In the process, I realized that I had to learn to be my own best friend. I had to be my own advocate.

At times, when my internal dialogue veered towards being hard on myself or to be despondent, I asked myself this question: “What if your best friend had come to you, and said that she had that same internal dialogue about herself? What would you say to her?”

When I thought about it, I knew that my response would be to sooth her, tell her not to be too hard on herself, and offer encouragement or a solution. So I started responding to myself in this manner, and I found that this strategy that I had read about, helped a great deal.

My healing, as most are, was spotty, but slowly I felt somewhat stronger.  At the end of the year, when the shops were aglow and bustling with gifts and life, when everybody seemed to be happy, I decided that I would like to gift myself, for making it this far.

I wouldn’t buy anything that I need, just whatever that would catch my eye and evoke some excitement. One day, I walked into a Japanese department store, and I saw those small, beautiful blue plates with delicate white flowers. I knew that was my gift.

When I got home, and took out the plates from the package, there was a certain emotion, perhaps of calmness, associated with that act.

After that year I didn’t really keep the gifting as a consistent tradition. Some years I would buy myself a gift at the end of the year, some years I didn’t.

Today, my mind wandered to that tradition. But I think this year I have no need of gifting myself.

That’s because this year I have had the opportunity to spend much more time with family and friends, sharing history and strengthening bonds. I also made several new friends, enjoying the ease with which we could talk for hours, and offering each other support in our endeavors and in our understanding of the world.

That is my gift that has been handed to me this year. Intangible, but probably one of the best.

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choice of friends

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Rest and support

Two essentials in life: time for a nap on some sunny afternoon, and a friend
to lean on.

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pony-_-cat3As Mother’s Day is celebrated throughout the world, women who do not have children may feel left out of the day’s celebrations. But I believe now there is a start towards an inclusion of women who are not mothers in the conventional sense.

After all, what is one of the most special attributes of a mother? A mother is a nurturer.

And most, if not all women, have the nurturer in us. If you have a pet, or grow plants, you are a Mom to these living things. If you are in a relationship, you nurture the hopes and aspirations  of your partner. And women nurture each other in our friendships and in our life journeys. We are there for each other, through good and hard times.

It’s human for some of us to feel a measure of sadness when we’re childless or missing our mothers on Mother’s Day. But instead, or at the same time, let’s celebrate the special quality we all share: that we nurture animals and people we love without expecting anything in return.

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