Michael Jordan’s Prenup

It was reported that Michael Jordan and his new bride signed a prenup. (pic: bet.com)

The rich are different from you and me.

Couldn’t help thinking of this quote when I read about Michael Jordan’s prenuptial agreement with his new bride, model Yvette Prieto.

It was reported that should the couple end up divorcing, she will receive $1 million for every year that they stay married. And if the marriage lasts for 10 years, she will receive $5 million per year in the event of a divorce.

It was also said that the prenup will protect Jordan’s huge fortune.

I guess $1 million is small change to Jordan, in comparison to his total wealth.

Well, what about us regular womenfolk? What do we get, after a year, or several years of marriage. Let me count the ways.

The first year of marriage, he tells you on Valentine’s Day: “This is your day. You don’t have to cook” So we eat out for breakfast, lunch and dinner. As the years go by, the Valentine dining out treats dwindle to two, then one. In some years, the treat metamorphoses into one of those standard heart-shaped box of candies.

The first year, he is all attentive to your words. As the years go by, a husband seems to lose the ability to hear the questions that you ask. Often,you have to repeat two, or even three times, before you get an answer or some kind of response.

Unlike Yvette Prieto, for regular womenfolk, you bank account may or may not grow during marriage.

But, then again, some things do grow in the relationship/bonding account: things like a shared history, and someone who knows your idiosyncrasies, and more importantly, someone who tolerates them.

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Take that, NBC commentators…

Gabby: she can fly. (Pic: AP/ Huffington Post)

Watching the Olympics women gymnastics team finals on Tuesday night, I, like many others who have expressed similar views, noticed that the NBC commentators hardly praised or said a good word about Gabby Douglas’ performance.

They kept harping on how she almost quit, and how “lucky” she was to have a sister who always persuaded her to continue.

There is an excellent post about this at this blog : “The first to do floor, Gabby’s performance received a score of 15.066. Solid. I literally waited on the commentators to find anything good to say about the routine. *Crickets* They said virtually nothing.” Read also the observations of other viewers.

I felt that the commentators’ efforts to marginalize or diminish her abilities were really biased and unprofessional.

But Gabby went on to win the women’s gymnastics all-around gold medal. Her determination to succeed and metal toughness are indeed inspiring. Congratulations!

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Memories of Whitney Houston’s Concert in Singapore

(pic:tvline)

I remember a year in the 1990s, when it was announced in the media that Whitney Houston would be performing in Singapore, there was an excited buzz among her many fans in Singapore and Malaysia.

A fan myself, I was happy to be able to attend the concert and to see Whitney perform.

When Whitney walked onstage, I could see that she looked as beautiful in person as she did in the videos. Like all true talent, she brought her own brand of magnetism to the room.

I remember there was an announcement that the air-conditioning in the venue would be switched off because Whitney had concerns about its effect on her voice. I suppose it could be due to the contrast between the cool air of the air-conditioning and the hot, humid air on the outside, something that could effect discomfort to the throat in tropical countries.

The fans didn’t mind. It was a fast-paced concert; Whitney thrilled the fans with her hits. She saw a group of young men and women near the stage who looked like African-Americans. Curious, she asked them: “Where are you guys from?” She didn’t quite catch the answer, and asked them again. “Cuba! Cuba!” they all shouted together.

At one point, an assistant came out with a small towel. Whitney perfunctorily wiped her face with it, then playfully threw it to the audience who jostled to catch it.

Soaring voice, incredible range, beautiful songs. Thank you for all the music.

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Landau Wins with His “Effortless” Singing

Landau...great voice and a feel-good story. (Pic: Nbc Universal/dailymail.com )

I’m  glad that Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. won the “America’s Got Talent” Season Finale with his very enjoyable rendition of Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”.

He is such a smooth, talented singer, with a style that makes it seem so effortless.

I was also struck by something he said in one of the clips before his performance. “Don’t stereotype me…because I’ll come outside the box for something else,” he said with a smile.

Well, I really dislike people stereotyping others. And there are people in this world who have low expectations of others, and behave according, based on how an individual looks.

Landau has shown that one can rise above the perceptions of others, and excel at something you love.

“A Star is Born” – many people on the Net are using this phrase to describe his journey in this competition. From working at the car wash to his success, Landau exemplifies the American story and spirit of second chances and plugging at your dream.

Landau, we look forward to more of your music.

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The Language of Names

Palin...wants to trademark her name. (Pic: Reuters)

Sarah Palin is taking steps to trademark her name, it was reported recently.

The former 2008 Republican vice presidential candidate and former Alaska governor filed paperwork with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office to register the trademark.

“Sarah Palin listed usage of the trademark for a website featuring information about political elections; political issues; and educational and entertainment services, including motivational speaking in the fields of politics, culture, business and values, “ Mercurynews.com reports.

Palin is a figure who often excites strong emotions, from both her supporters and critics. Since we are on the topic of the usage of names, let’s talk about an interesting aspect of language. That is, how new words are created out of names of people or objects, and then assume popular usage.

Palin’s name, for instance, based on her performance in the 2008 elections has led to the creatioin of a new descriptive word “palinesque”. It has mainly negative meaning such as “superficial, lacking in depth”. The Urban Dictionary defines it as “When someone doesn’t answer a question, and immediately changes the topic.”

In the case of object names that have become verbs, two come into mind: the Xerox printer and Google search engine. Some years back, the name Xerox soon became synonymous with “to make a photocopy”, as in “Can you please xerox this for me?”

More recently, the name Google has become verb which means using the search engine to find out more information. As an example: sometimes, when you meet a person at an event and are curious to find out more about him/her, later you Google the person’s name. (A friend thinks this practice invades a person’s privacy but I suspect most people have done this.)

Glenn Close in Fatal attraction, which means an out of control attraction. (Pic:knowthemovies.com)

And then there is the title from the movie “Fatal Attraction” starring Michael Douglas and Glenn Close. The phrase “fatal attraction” has been absorbed into the language to mean an obsessive and dangerous attraction, or when a spurned partner becomes vengeful.

It’s quite fascinating to see what other name will capture people’s imagination, and take on its own meaning in the living language that we use everyday.

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Persistence and Goals

Michael...talent and strong determination. (Pic: Sports Illustrated)

February is Black History Month, celebrating the contributions that the African-American community have made to the history and culture of the nation.

My thoughts landed on Michael Jordan, considered one of the best basketball players of all time, and a quote by him that I came across a couple of years ago. I found it insightful and inspiring. It showed that like many high achievers, he did not let bumps and challenges deter him from his goal:

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

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Tiger and Elin: What Do They Want from Their Marriage?

Tiger Woods is set to move on beyond his scandal, with his press conference. An intriguing question remains: what are his and Elin’s hopes for the future of their marriage.

From his statement, it looks like Tiger and Elin want to try to make the marriage work. That is admirable, especially considering that they are the parents of two young children. The couple may have all the best marriage counsellors at their disposal, as well as advice from their agents, media consultants, friends and family. But I believe the crucial question they each have to ask themselves is: what do they truly want from the marriage.

"I ran straight through the boundaries that a married couple should live by."

It is not a platitude to say that it takes hard work and commitment to build a fulfilling, happy and stable marriage. Like any relationship, you have to invest time and emotions to get back what you put in. And like any relationship that takes two to tango, there has to be a meeting line where interest, needs, desires and values meet or are on the same wavelength.

Where do these lines meet for these two individuals?

Tiger: not ready for monogamy. Elin: for love or luxury? (Pic: AP)

It appears that Tiger is not ready for monogamy. There is a reason why “open marriages” do not work: monogamy is an essential building block for developing trust and loyalty,  two qualities that can cause a marriage to crumble when they are absent.

To start over again, he has to commit to being faithful, despite the temptations and the groupies that will continue to be around him.

Why does Elin really want to stay? Possibly, she still loves him. The issue is whether she can restart from a clean slate and trust him when he’s on tour, away from her. Many women wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where you’re on the edge of suspicion of your partner all the time. Not a conducive way to live, unless she thinks it’s worth hanging around for a bigger divorce payday later on.

My guess is that they would probably stay together, at least for some time. And for what reasons? Only Tiger and Elin know.

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The Salahis and Tiger Woods: Chasing Fame..and Being Chased

No laughing matter...it's a security breach. (AP Photo)

Fame, scandals and privacy are the buzzwords this week.

At the top of the news is the saga of Tareq and Michaele Salahi who gatecrashed a State Dinner at the White House, and even got up-close with President Obama.

It used to be that one has to be good at something to be famous. But the Salahis reflect the current trend of chasing or attracting fame at any cost. Some commentators blame reality TV for this. People are voyeurs. If you open up your life to the world, the good as well as the messy parts, you stand a good chance of becoming a famous celebrity.

Another interesting thing that I notice from this gatecrashing story is the initial reactions from the British and American press.

There were several headlines and comments in the British press, applauding the Salahis for staging the ‘gatecrash of the century’. “We need more pranksters like the White House gatecrashers,” said a writer in the United Kingdom daily, The Telegraph. The reception in the American has been more serious – raising worries about the serious breach of security and how an unauthorized guest can get so close to the president.

This difference could be due to the British fondness for pranks. Americans, on the other hand, carry the history of the assassination of two of the country’s great leaders, President John F Kennedy and civil rights leader Martin Luther King. It has been reported that Obama receives 30 death threats a day. Ed Rollins, CNN Senior Political Contributor and a leading Republican wrote a stern piece titled: “Prosecute the White House gate-crashers.” (http://www.cnn.com/2009/OPINION/11/28/rollins.party.crashers.whitehouse/ )

Scandals and privacy also dogged Tiger Woods, one of the world’s most successful and popular golfers. It seems like his picture-perfect marriage wasn’t so perfect after all.

Tiger's plea for privacy will go unheeded. (Getty Images)

Amidst all the blaring news of his affairs with other women, Woods pleaded for privacy for his family. Sorry, Tiger, it doesn’t look like the media will heed your plea. Today, scandals sell. And even some of us who agree that Woods and his family should be given some privacy can be quite hypocritical. We still gobble up the scandalous details and the “breaking news” when we come across them.

The Woods episode also brings up the issue of athletes as “role models”. It’s fine that we consider them role models for their drive, passion and excellence in their sport. But should we also expect them to be role models free of marital complications or “transgressions” as Woods term them in his statement, when such episodes are a recurrent theme in the human experience?

Points to ponder, as these two stories continue to hog the news.

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Musings in November

Whitney Houston gave a sincere, stirring performance at the American Music Awards (pic: Getty Images)

We all love a comeback story.

At the American Music Awards last night, when Samuel L. Jackson announced that Whitney Houston would be performing her first live television performance in five years, I’m sure some of the her fans watching were a little anxious, hoping that she could pull it off.

Well, she did, with a stirring performance of “I Didn’t Know My Own Strength“. There were also moments of that soaring voice that has distinguished her career. The camera showed Reba McEntire teary-eyed and Whitney’s daughter Bobbi Kristina quietly beaming at her mother’s success. Whitney was presented with the International Artist of the Year award, and in her speech, she thanked her fans for standing by her through the years.

Sometimes, we need a feel-good story, to give some inspiration, some hope. Or just to feel goodwill towards another person. God bless everyone who is going through any pain or any challenges, whether emotional or financial. The phoenix can rise again.

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Did Whitney’s Marriage Break Her?

Whitney's comeback album.

Whitney Houston is about to jumpstart her career, after a long absence from the music scene.

Whitney has a superb voice, and her songs have remained perennial favorites with me, and with millions of other fans.

At the height of her success, she seemed to have it all. Extraordinary talent, looks, hit after hit, and a supportive musical family with mother, Cissy Houston, a gospel and soul singer and her cousin, the famous Dionne Warwick.

Then when she got married, to Bobby Brown, her fans were puzzled and upset by her choice. Frankly, they felt that she made the wrong choice.

In her interview with Oprah on September 14, Whitney said that she was attracted to Bobby because “he allowed me to be me. He was fun. Passionate. Loving.”

In the reality TV show “Being Bobby Brown” which showed what went on in the couple’s lives, one could see that Bobby can be very charming and entertaining. I suppose, like many women, Whitney wanted a man who could make her laugh. Or perhaps, like some women, she was drawn to bad boys.

People blamed her marriage for the downward spiral from a classy young woman to one who lived a hard, fast and almost destructive life.

Whitney and Bobby... in happier times.

Ideally, a person brings his or her true character to a marriage, and retains personal responsibility to himself, while at the same time cultivating the relationship as a couple. But I have seen quite a few relationships where the marriage caused a huge negative impact on one of the spouses’ personal development. Such is the power and mystery of marriage, and Whitney’s marriage seems to be a good example of this.

Whitney told Oprah that she took her marriage vow very seriously and stayed with Bobby to make it work. I thought it was very wise of her to acknowledge to Oprah that it was difficult for Bobby to be in her shadow, and that contributed to problems in the marriage.

The drug abuse, lack of communication, pain and unhappiness became unbearable, and their divorce was finalized on April 24, 2007.

Now Whitney is at a new juncture of her life, determined to leave all that behind. Her new single I Look to You sounds great. Making a comeback is never easy, and it takes courage. Welcome back, Miss Houston.

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